Welcome to My Bumpy Ride.......

Before you all read on, I guess it is best to introduce myself to you and let you know a bit about myself. I am Susan, and first and foremost, I am a mother to a wonderful young man. Though he is grown, he will always be that three year old little boy, that asked all those questions and expected answers to them all. Though I will tell you much about myself in this blog there is no one or nothing that is as important to me as him, even if I don't discuss him much, because he kina likes to remain private.

For years I was actively trying to find myself, but that was a big waste of time, since by doing so I was not living. All my life I have always known that I was "different", but was unable to know why that was. I first thought that perhaps it was because I was adopted, but that was not the case. Turns out, I am bipolar and pretty much have been all my life. This was explained to me about nine years ago when I had a major melt down. I tend to be more on the depressive side, but have on occasion been quite manic. My last episode was early thru mid 2008, with full blown depression. For five months, I bearly left my house, let alone my bed. Why am I telling you this? I just want it out in the open and let you understand that I discuss my illness from time to time.

Present day, I am currently a full time student, studying social work. At the end of 2011 I was approached by a mentor of mine, who mentioned a new program that was going to launch here in Rhode Island. This new program called the Peer Wellness Coaching, was something that I had always wished would become a reality and to add even more excitement was the fact that this mentor was inviting me to train for a position as one of the Peer Wellness Coaches.

So currently (spring 2012) I am part of the three phases of training and should be employed by the fall of 2012. What is even more excellent about this program is that they are aware of my education goals and are willing to work with me on maintaining those goals.

Also you might hear me mention NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), because I am actively involved with them. I am a facilitator and state trainer for the NAMI Connection groups (peer run support group) here in Rhode Island, and I also help teach high school and college students about mental illness through NAMI RI's Inside Mental Illness program.

So with all that being said...I hope you read on to my daily activities and thoughts and such.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

September 3, 2011 Getting Out

Four days til classes start.  I am all ready as far as supplies go, but still waiting on two books that I need for one class.  As far as being psychologically ready, well I guess I am as good as I am going to get with that one.  I am happy about the fact that I don’t have an 8am class and only one day that I have a 9am lab.

For the past two weeks, I have made sure that I have gone out and did something, just so I don’t fall into the trap of staying in and getting more stuck in my depression.  I am feeling pretty good about doing that, because I feel like I am accomplishing something, instead of feeling like I am worthless.

Got some really good shots this past week.  I am going to share some with you all here….

I have decided that I am going to be more proactive in getting my portfolio ready to show and hopefully get the photos ready for the showing in the spring.  I have way too many pictures that I am not sharing with the world.  Some people think that I am really talented, and though I like the photos I take, I don’t feel talented at all.  Sometimes I think that the way I perceive my photos are better than others would.  I guess I have to give it a chance and deal with rejection in order to see if I am good at photography.

If I happen to be good enough to sell some of my shots, I decided that I would turn whatever money I get into better equipment.    I know what camera I would like and I could really use a tripod.  Maybe with better equipment, I can take better pictures. 

Well, I guess that is about it for today. TTFN

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