This week I was hit with a surprise. First I have to tell you that some time in the late fall I had a discussion with Denny about his drinking and how if ever he wanted help, I would do all that I could to help him. Well Tuesday we were out having pizza and he tells me that he wanted to take me up on my offer. I was like, seriously, and he was like yes. So since Tuesday I have been working to help Denny to get the help he needs. Well right now he is in the hospital and will either be going to a partial hospitalization or to a program where he goes home each night. I am hoping for the partial hospitalization, but at least he is doing something. This is the first time he has ever tried anything to help his drinking and he has been a heavy drinker for thirty years.
At least for two days I had something else on my mind other then my shit, but as with anything you’re trying to avoid, it is still there. Today I went to see him at the hospital and then like a wave my shit came back. My God, when is this shit going to friggin stop? How am I going to be able to be there for him, finish my last two weeks of school, clean his apartment, clean his finances and keep me in check all at the same time? Three days of classes left and two days of finals, that is what I am thinking right now. It is way too late to even consider taking an incomplete. It would be a mega waste of time.
With me focusing on Denny it kind of calmed my racing thoughts, but today they came back with a vengeance. It is so bad that I even called and left a really crazy message with my therapist. She will most likely get that on Monday. At least tomorrow I will be at Denny’s house cleaning it. I am really hoping that I can focus on that and keep my thoughts more leveled. We shall see. You know, I didn’t even know what I was going to talk to my therapist about in the first place. Guess I just needed someone to talk to. All my friends are busy and not answering their phones. Maybe they are just tired of me being off. I mean I try as hell to spare them the thoughts that are running around in my head. Well it doesn’t matter.
Think I am going to lie down. No picture today.