The count as of today is eight actual days I have to go to classes, two final days, and 19 days until the end of the semester. Maybe it is not a good idea to be counting down since it looks like a lot of days until the end of the semester and it is not helping me to see that, but I can’t help it.
Spent today doing absolutely nothing except lying in bed and being on the computer. Lying down in bed is not good for me but since I have nothing else better to do other than homework, it seems like a better choice. So now I wonder, what is it going to be like in 19 days when I am done and have no responsibly? Will I spend my days laying in bed and watching shit on TV that I totally forget about once they are done? I had the TV on and honestly, I have no idea what it was that I was watching. I vaguely remember Will and Grace, but not sure if that was last night or today. OMG this is bad. Reminds me of two years ago major, only difference is I am alone here and don’t have Denny to remind me that there is an outside world out there.
Maybe this weekend is tough because of the fact that I have not heard from Denny since last night. I am guessing that he is getting annoyed with me being on a downer and all and since I don’t live with him, he doesn’t have to see it if he doesn’t want to.
Tomorrow is Easter. Not much to say on that really. I have no plans. Suppose I could go to church or something and get all connected to God or whatever, but honestly that is hard for me right now. Yeah I know, we don’t have God on a time schedule or anything and if we believe that we believe and blah blah blah.
I was really serious in a church back in Virginia and well at that time I was in a marriage from hell. I told a Pastor about the whole situation and was quite honest with him and all, and you know what he told me….Fuckin!!! he said that our vows are sacred or something like that and then quoted the scripture about wives honoring your husbands. What the fuck was that shit. Here I was almost every day wondering if this man that I lived with was going to beat the shit out of me and here was this asshole Pastor basically telling me to obey my husband. I did though look up those verses and it also stated, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”
When I brought this to the attention of that friggin Pastor he basically said that it was me who needed to comply first and how was a man going to be able to do that for me if I would not obey him. I was like WTF. One would think that this transpired somewhere in the 50’s or even the 70’s, but no this happened around the early 2000’s. Crazy but true. What I find amazing is how I still receive emails from this Pastor about his program that he runs for addiction recovery. I wonder why I do, since I don’t even have an addiction problem. Whatever. Just something my brain was thinking while I had this page open. Ok time to find a picture. Be right back…
I guess, since I am feeling all alone right now, I will share a picture I took one fall of one of the miniature pumpkins that I buy each year. Well TTFN.