Welcome to My Bumpy Ride.......

Before you all read on, I guess it is best to introduce myself to you and let you know a bit about myself. I am Susan, and first and foremost, I am a mother to a wonderful young man. Though he is grown, he will always be that three year old little boy, that asked all those questions and expected answers to them all. Though I will tell you much about myself in this blog there is no one or nothing that is as important to me as him, even if I don't discuss him much, because he kina likes to remain private.

For years I was actively trying to find myself, but that was a big waste of time, since by doing so I was not living. All my life I have always known that I was "different", but was unable to know why that was. I first thought that perhaps it was because I was adopted, but that was not the case. Turns out, I am bipolar and pretty much have been all my life. This was explained to me about nine years ago when I had a major melt down. I tend to be more on the depressive side, but have on occasion been quite manic. My last episode was early thru mid 2008, with full blown depression. For five months, I bearly left my house, let alone my bed. Why am I telling you this? I just want it out in the open and let you understand that I discuss my illness from time to time.

Present day, I am currently a full time student, studying social work. At the end of 2011 I was approached by a mentor of mine, who mentioned a new program that was going to launch here in Rhode Island. This new program called the Peer Wellness Coaching, was something that I had always wished would become a reality and to add even more excitement was the fact that this mentor was inviting me to train for a position as one of the Peer Wellness Coaches.

So currently (spring 2012) I am part of the three phases of training and should be employed by the fall of 2012. What is even more excellent about this program is that they are aware of my education goals and are willing to work with me on maintaining those goals.

Also you might hear me mention NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), because I am actively involved with them. I am a facilitator and state trainer for the NAMI Connection groups (peer run support group) here in Rhode Island, and I also help teach high school and college students about mental illness through NAMI RI's Inside Mental Illness program.

So with all that being said...I hope you read on to my daily activities and thoughts and such.

Monday, September 3, 2012

School Tomorrow

Classes start for me tomorrow.  I feel pretty good about it, though I am torn between Dad and his medical issues.  As harsh as this might sound, I do believe that I will be attending his funeral during this semester.  Originally they told us that for the most part, Dad only had the most two months and we were told that in the beginning of February and so far they are wrong.  I have noticed a big difference since I last went to visit with him.

Work is going ok.  I was really hoping to share something great with work, but honestly I don’t have anything like that to share.  My new supervisor is really showing signs on how she really is not thrilled with me being there.  Actually if it wasn’t for Medicaid requiring us Peer Specialist to be at each and every mental health center, I know I would not be at the one I am at.  It is sad but I am working to bring a positive presents.  

It is so hard to do that each time I walk in.  It makes no sense that if I am an employee, why is it that I am not given a key to the building just like everyone else.  Every day that I go in, I have to be buzzed in, just like the people receiving services.

I guess I was just expecting to be treated just like any other employee and I guess that is asking too much.  I am hoping that when the other Peer Specialist comes into the building tomorrow that we will be treated a bit differently.  As of now, two weeks in for me, I have only shadowed three times and the rest I finished up the online required courses and have been working on my resource notebook.  Had I not decided to work on that, I have how idea what I would have been doing. 

I did walk around and introduce myself to the other staff members and that seemed at the most part positive.  I was able to talk extensively with one case manager and she is so excited to see how this works out. 

Believe it or not you all, this is going to be short and sweet.  Just feel bad because I have not participated in Jenny’s prompts this week and actually didn’t blog at all.  Next week I will make sure I do.  Have a good one all.

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