Welcome to My Bumpy Ride.......

Before you all read on, I guess it is best to introduce myself to you and let you know a bit about myself. I am Susan, and first and foremost, I am a mother to a wonderful young man. Though he is grown, he will always be that three year old little boy, that asked all those questions and expected answers to them all. Though I will tell you much about myself in this blog there is no one or nothing that is as important to me as him, even if I don't discuss him much, because he kina likes to remain private.

For years I was actively trying to find myself, but that was a big waste of time, since by doing so I was not living. All my life I have always known that I was "different", but was unable to know why that was. I first thought that perhaps it was because I was adopted, but that was not the case. Turns out, I am bipolar and pretty much have been all my life. This was explained to me about nine years ago when I had a major melt down. I tend to be more on the depressive side, but have on occasion been quite manic. My last episode was early thru mid 2008, with full blown depression. For five months, I bearly left my house, let alone my bed. Why am I telling you this? I just want it out in the open and let you understand that I discuss my illness from time to time.

Present day, I am currently a full time student, studying social work. At the end of 2011 I was approached by a mentor of mine, who mentioned a new program that was going to launch here in Rhode Island. This new program called the Peer Wellness Coaching, was something that I had always wished would become a reality and to add even more excitement was the fact that this mentor was inviting me to train for a position as one of the Peer Wellness Coaches.

So currently (spring 2012) I am part of the three phases of training and should be employed by the fall of 2012. What is even more excellent about this program is that they are aware of my education goals and are willing to work with me on maintaining those goals.

Also you might hear me mention NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), because I am actively involved with them. I am a facilitator and state trainer for the NAMI Connection groups (peer run support group) here in Rhode Island, and I also help teach high school and college students about mental illness through NAMI RI's Inside Mental Illness program.

So with all that being said...I hope you read on to my daily activities and thoughts and such.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Feeling Alone Out Here

I am debating whether to blow off some school work and go outside today.  I know that it is a beautiful day out but have a project that is due on Monday.  I could always sit back and pray that everyone did long ones and we run out of time.  I hate that feeling though.

Then there is the whole question of where would I go.  I mean I want to go and take some pictures but I have been everywhere that I would think about going to. I thought maybe the beach, but it is kind of late to catch the bus out there.  I thought about India Point Park, but don’t want to go alone.  You know what, I know that I am just going to sit here today and get the work done and then meet Denny and Bill (Denny’s roommate) for karaoke tonight.  I am planning on videotaping Bill sing, since he is not half bad.

I have posted a few things up at YouTube.  They are not the greatest but some are fun.  Here is the link if you want to see my channelà CLICK ME

Had a couple of friends from the center here yesterday.  Before they came by I went to the supermarket and bought some stuff to make them wraps and snacks.  It was nice having company, I realized that being that I live in such a small place it is not feasible to have more than one visitor at a time.

I read some of my old blogs that contained some fiction, poems, and guided imageries that I had posted back in the Yahoo 360 days.  I was completely surprised that one of my guests wanted me to continue reading and she told me that she really loved the way that I wrote.  The other guest liked them as well but was not in the mood to listen, so I only read a couple more and then closed the book on that.

After hearing what one of my guests thought about my writing, I decided that I would go back to doing what I used to.  I used to blog like I do now, but once in a while I would through in a short story, poem or guided imagery.  It is not like anyone really reads this blog like they did back in the 360 days.

Sometimes I feel as though I am just talking to myself out here in the miles and miles of web space that is known as the internet.  It would be nice to have someone who actually reads this stuff.  Back in the Yahoo 360 days I have so many people reading and commenting on my blogs that it made me feel good to see that there were people out there who either understood, learned something or could relate to what I typed out.  Now though, there is no comments.  It makes me think that I am not entertaining enough to spend time to get to know.  I know there are dark times that I go through, but I had them back in the day as well, and received a lot of support and it helped.

Well enough of that.  So the picture today? I took that picture a couple of weeks ago at Roger Williams Park in Providence, RI.

1 comment:

  1. I'm reading :)I know I don't always comment but I do read your entries. Thank you for blogging!