Welcome to My Bumpy Ride.......

Before you all read on, I guess it is best to introduce myself to you and let you know a bit about myself. I am Susan, and first and foremost, I am a mother to a wonderful young man. Though he is grown, he will always be that three year old little boy, that asked all those questions and expected answers to them all. Though I will tell you much about myself in this blog there is no one or nothing that is as important to me as him, even if I don't discuss him much, because he kina likes to remain private.

For years I was actively trying to find myself, but that was a big waste of time, since by doing so I was not living. All my life I have always known that I was "different", but was unable to know why that was. I first thought that perhaps it was because I was adopted, but that was not the case. Turns out, I am bipolar and pretty much have been all my life. This was explained to me about nine years ago when I had a major melt down. I tend to be more on the depressive side, but have on occasion been quite manic. My last episode was early thru mid 2008, with full blown depression. For five months, I bearly left my house, let alone my bed. Why am I telling you this? I just want it out in the open and let you understand that I discuss my illness from time to time.

Present day, I am currently a full time student, studying social work. At the end of 2011 I was approached by a mentor of mine, who mentioned a new program that was going to launch here in Rhode Island. This new program called the Peer Wellness Coaching, was something that I had always wished would become a reality and to add even more excitement was the fact that this mentor was inviting me to train for a position as one of the Peer Wellness Coaches.

So currently (spring 2012) I am part of the three phases of training and should be employed by the fall of 2012. What is even more excellent about this program is that they are aware of my education goals and are willing to work with me on maintaining those goals.

Also you might hear me mention NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), because I am actively involved with them. I am a facilitator and state trainer for the NAMI Connection groups (peer run support group) here in Rhode Island, and I also help teach high school and college students about mental illness through NAMI RI's Inside Mental Illness program.

So with all that being said...I hope you read on to my daily activities and thoughts and such.



Thursday, November 17, 2011

Tomorrow My Baby Will Be 21



OMG, my son is going to be 21 years old tomorrow.  Funny how so much time just flies right by.  I have watched him grow from 21 inches to almost 6 feet tall.  I remember where I held his hand in mine for the first time.  Oh those tiny little helpless hands that God handed over to me to care for and nurture.  I was scared out of my mind. I had no idea what to do, I mean I did babysit and stuff like that, but I never had a newborn in my care for more than a couple of hours.  I remember thinking that if I could make it 24 hours without hurting him that I could make a week.  I stopped counting when he was almost two. LOL. 

I used love watching him sleep.  At least than I had a feeling that I was doing something right, because I knew that if he slept peacefully, than he felt safe.  It was important to me to have him feel that way.  I guess it was because I never did when I was a kid, and never wanted him know that feeling.

I was blessed, by God, to have such a great kid.  From the time he was born he never gave me any real problems.  He had even slept through the night for the first time on December 7th 1990, and from that night on, it remained that way until an illness. 

From the moment he was born it was like he took in everything I said.  It felt like he needed to learn as quick as can be.  He did too.  Learned so much, so fast, it was so hard to keep up.  He wanted to learn everything.  I loved his questions, because they seemed to have more of a meaning to them, than just a basic need to know.  Each and every question brought upon more questions.  I am not going lie here, sometimes it was exhausting, but I understood him. 

I realized by the time he was almost two, that though he looked so much like his father, he was more me on the inside, and believe me I was so glad for that.

So who is the man (God that was hard to write) he is today.  He would make any girl happy to be with him.  Currently he is dating a girl that he says is so special on the inside that so many people don’t even notice.  He is caring, thoughtful, thickheaded, determined, insightful, smart, severely honest, active, attractive, attentive, wise beyond his years, trustworthy, honorable, and the list can go on forever.

All I can say at this moment is that I am so proud of the man that my son has become and I can’t wait to see how his future turns out.  I thank God for giving me the opportunity to have been there to care for him as he grew.  Happy Birthday to a very special young man, my boy. 

BTW Photo was taken last Sunday at birthday celebration for him. TTFN
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