Welcome to My Bumpy Ride.......

Before you all read on, I guess it is best to introduce myself to you and let you know a bit about myself. I am Susan, and first and foremost, I am a mother to a wonderful young man. Though he is grown, he will always be that three year old little boy, that asked all those questions and expected answers to them all. Though I will tell you much about myself in this blog there is no one or nothing that is as important to me as him, even if I don't discuss him much, because he kina likes to remain private.

For years I was actively trying to find myself, but that was a big waste of time, since by doing so I was not living. All my life I have always known that I was "different", but was unable to know why that was. I first thought that perhaps it was because I was adopted, but that was not the case. Turns out, I am bipolar and pretty much have been all my life. This was explained to me about nine years ago when I had a major melt down. I tend to be more on the depressive side, but have on occasion been quite manic. My last episode was early thru mid 2008, with full blown depression. For five months, I bearly left my house, let alone my bed. Why am I telling you this? I just want it out in the open and let you understand that I discuss my illness from time to time.

Present day, I am currently a full time student, studying social work. At the end of 2011 I was approached by a mentor of mine, who mentioned a new program that was going to launch here in Rhode Island. This new program called the Peer Wellness Coaching, was something that I had always wished would become a reality and to add even more excitement was the fact that this mentor was inviting me to train for a position as one of the Peer Wellness Coaches.

So currently (spring 2012) I am part of the three phases of training and should be employed by the fall of 2012. What is even more excellent about this program is that they are aware of my education goals and are willing to work with me on maintaining those goals.

Also you might hear me mention NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), because I am actively involved with them. I am a facilitator and state trainer for the NAMI Connection groups (peer run support group) here in Rhode Island, and I also help teach high school and college students about mental illness through NAMI RI's Inside Mental Illness program.

So with all that being said...I hope you read on to my daily activities and thoughts and such.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Entry for February 12, 2011 Denny’s view on VD and Up to Date School Stuff

I love Denny, but I really hate how he is against certain things.  One of those things is coming up in two days.  That is right; he dislikes the whole premise of Valentine’s Day.  He doesn’t feel that there should be a day designated to where you have to gift the one you love, he believes in showing it all the time.  I kind of agree with him to a degree but it would be really nice to not be that person with someone who loves you and not be able to let others see it on the day of love.  I guess that makes me a material person, but damn it would be nice.

The last time that he did something for me for Valentine’s Day was in 2007.  We built a bear together at Build –A- Bear Workshop.  Now that was kewl.  I call him our bear, because the both of us worked on him together.  Even came up with him name together.  His name is Gene Yus.  If you actually say it and sound it out you might get a laugh.  Gene Yus has two hears, One from me and one from Denny.  It is really sweet actually, and every time I look at him I get a smile on my face thinking about the day we made him.

Denny does always do sweet things for me when I least expect it and that is so nice.  He is doing as he says by showing me he loves me any ole time.  I love how he will get me one flower just for the hell of it.  Over the time I have known him I think I have gotten more flowers then most people have gotten for Valentine’s over the same amount of years, so I really should not complain.  I suppose I just needed to write it out and see it for myself.

School is going fairly well.  I have a lot more reading this semester then last, there is no doubt of that.  I actually just spent the last six hours reading and I think my brain is going to explode, so I decided to put the books down and relax here on my puter for a bit.  Funny thing is though, online is starting to really bore me to tears.  When I was not in school or working, all I ever did was sit on my computer and now I wonder what it was that I did.  I know that I spent a lot of time on the blog I had on Yahoo 360 and then Multiply, but after my great depression in the late winter early spring of ’09, I have lost some interest.

Oh yeah right, I was talking about school.  I have had one graded paper given back to me and I got an 82 on it.  Needless to say, I was not happy with it.  It was in Sociology and I really thought I nailed it, but apparently not.  I feel pretty ok with it though since there was only two A’s in a class of 35, granted I would have loved to be one of the two, but at least I was part of the upper 50% of the class with my B. 

English Comp is going well considering I can stand my Professor.  I won’t go into why I don’t care for the man since I made the choice to take his class, even after having him last semester and knowing what he was like.  I made my decision to take his class based on the fact that I wanted to get it over with and his class was the only available one that fit so perfectly into my schedule.  One thing about the man I do like however, how well he grades.  I finished his class last semester with an A so I know that I should be able to finish well this semester with him.

Both Psychology classes I am really enjoying and we are not even into the meat of the course yet, so I am really looking forward to getting farther along.  They both require most of my reading time and one of the books is a nice read.  The other book is quite lengthy, and I wish the woman who wrote the book took the time to take out many of the unnecessary words, but otherwise I am able to comprehend the material better than I expected.

Lastly is my Microeconomic class.  This one I am getting by.  That is the best I can say about it for now.  The Professor is from Bangladesh and very hard to understand.  It is also an issue that he has the tone that is the hardest for me to hear.  I have asked him if I could record in the class and he has given me such a hard time about it.  So far he is the only Professor to question me and ask that I get some documentation that I have a hearing issue.  I don’t know but perhaps my hearing aids could give him a clue.  I am guessing that he is a bit arrogant about the fact that he is the author of the text or something like that, who knows.  Anyways I have the paperwork he requested and maybe I am not too far behind in understanding the material. 

Alright I have bored you all to tears enough tonight, so I will tell you about the photo I have chosen for you today.  I owned one of these Holly Hobbie purses back in the 70’s.  For me being a tomboy this was the most girly girl I ever got back then.  My mother was overjoyed but it didn’t last long at all.  I think because of the fact that I was finally showing signs of being a girl, my mother decided to enrich that part of me and basically I owned everything Holly Hobbie.  Actually my favorite blanket was a comforter that had Holly Hobbie all over it, and it met its demise one early autumn night at a party in the woods.  One of my friends decided that he would hold it over the fire and up in flames it went.  Well you all that is it.  TTFN

1 comment:

  1. I loved Holly Hobbie too! That was my favorite doll in the 70's and early 80's. You brought back some memories. Also, I can relate to returning to college. I am in my 30's and returned to get my Bachelor's degree, so I understand what you are dealing with. I had to put off school for many years due to living with Schizoaffective Disorder. I also am very involved with NAMI in my area of Florida. So, we have a lot in common, and I will definitely be back to read more of your posts!