Welcome to My Bumpy Ride.......

Before you all read on, I guess it is best to introduce myself to you and let you know a bit about myself. I am Susan, and first and foremost, I am a mother to a wonderful young man. Though he is grown, he will always be that three year old little boy, that asked all those questions and expected answers to them all. Though I will tell you much about myself in this blog there is no one or nothing that is as important to me as him, even if I don't discuss him much, because he kina likes to remain private.

For years I was actively trying to find myself, but that was a big waste of time, since by doing so I was not living. All my life I have always known that I was "different", but was unable to know why that was. I first thought that perhaps it was because I was adopted, but that was not the case. Turns out, I am bipolar and pretty much have been all my life. This was explained to me about nine years ago when I had a major melt down. I tend to be more on the depressive side, but have on occasion been quite manic. My last episode was early thru mid 2008, with full blown depression. For five months, I bearly left my house, let alone my bed. Why am I telling you this? I just want it out in the open and let you understand that I discuss my illness from time to time.

Present day, I am currently a full time student, studying social work. At the end of 2011 I was approached by a mentor of mine, who mentioned a new program that was going to launch here in Rhode Island. This new program called the Peer Wellness Coaching, was something that I had always wished would become a reality and to add even more excitement was the fact that this mentor was inviting me to train for a position as one of the Peer Wellness Coaches.

So currently (spring 2012) I am part of the three phases of training and should be employed by the fall of 2012. What is even more excellent about this program is that they are aware of my education goals and are willing to work with me on maintaining those goals.

Also you might hear me mention NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), because I am actively involved with them. I am a facilitator and state trainer for the NAMI Connection groups (peer run support group) here in Rhode Island, and I also help teach high school and college students about mental illness through NAMI RI's Inside Mental Illness program.

So with all that being said...I hope you read on to my daily activities and thoughts and such.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Entry for February 4, 2011 Spring Semester

Here I am up at seven in the morning and my original plan was to start working on the many assignments I have due on Tuesday, but I am writing this instead.  I am finding it very hard to get myself going this semester and I don’t know why.  Well I shouldn’t say that, because I know that I am heading towards a low and I am doing everything I possibly can to keep myself going. Every time I feel like staying in bed rather than go to classes, I remind myself of the Nike ad that said JUST DO IT.  It has been working so far and I hope it continues to.

Just to let you all know, I finished last semester with a 3.92 and an over all of 3.88. I am very proud of the fact that I finished so well, but I wonder if I will be able to keep it up this semester.  Already I have seven chapters to read and two papers to write by Tuesday.  I wonder sometimes why I do this to myself and then I remember that I am capable of doing this sort of thing.

Alright here is the run down for all of those that want to know what classes I am taking and such.  Last semester when I picked my classes I signed up for: English Comp, Development Psychology, Social Psychology, Sociology, and Microeconomics.  Like the semester before, I signed up for five so I can see the classes and choose to drop one and did that fine, but this semester it was very hard to choose, so in the end I decided to keep all five.  I figured that since I finished so well last semester I can handle it.  As I look now at the pile of large books for four of my classes I wonder if I had made a grave mistake.

Honestly though, last semester was my first full time semester and I felt exactly the same way.  I even had the bit of a low and was still able to manage the four classes I had.  Out of last semester’s four classes of: College Writing, General Psychology, Western Civilization and Math for Liberal Arts, I got an A in each class except for the A- I received in General Psychology. 

I guess I am just writing this to remind myself that I am totally capable of carrying on a heavy load of classes.  It is funny that just last week I was approached by a newspaper reporter in my area about questions pertaining to my mental illness and my classes.  (Note to self: find the article and read it) I was quite honest with her and she was quite impressed with my honesty.  I wonder though, what was actually said in the article. 

Well I guess that will be all for now.  Though this blog is open for anyone to read, I really wrote it to help me to see where I am and in the future take a look back and hopefully be able to say that even with the way I am feeling I still managed to handle each situation and succeed.

Today’s picture is the first book that I ever read out loud to anyone.  I loved this book for years and since today is about my education, why not show you all my early steps to it.  TTFN

1 comment:

  1. I think you are doing fantastic! I remember how hard it was just doing three classes, let alone five. I admire your drive and determination.

    Do not doubt yourself because you are totally capable of succeeding at school. You go girl!