Welcome to My Bumpy Ride.......

Before you all read on, I guess it is best to introduce myself to you and let you know a bit about myself. I am Susan, and first and foremost, I am a mother to a wonderful young man. Though he is grown, he will always be that three year old little boy, that asked all those questions and expected answers to them all. Though I will tell you much about myself in this blog there is no one or nothing that is as important to me as him, even if I don't discuss him much, because he kina likes to remain private.

For years I was actively trying to find myself, but that was a big waste of time, since by doing so I was not living. All my life I have always known that I was "different", but was unable to know why that was. I first thought that perhaps it was because I was adopted, but that was not the case. Turns out, I am bipolar and pretty much have been all my life. This was explained to me about nine years ago when I had a major melt down. I tend to be more on the depressive side, but have on occasion been quite manic. My last episode was early thru mid 2008, with full blown depression. For five months, I bearly left my house, let alone my bed. Why am I telling you this? I just want it out in the open and let you understand that I discuss my illness from time to time.

Present day, I am currently a full time student, studying social work. At the end of 2011 I was approached by a mentor of mine, who mentioned a new program that was going to launch here in Rhode Island. This new program called the Peer Wellness Coaching, was something that I had always wished would become a reality and to add even more excitement was the fact that this mentor was inviting me to train for a position as one of the Peer Wellness Coaches.

So currently (spring 2012) I am part of the three phases of training and should be employed by the fall of 2012. What is even more excellent about this program is that they are aware of my education goals and are willing to work with me on maintaining those goals.

Also you might hear me mention NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), because I am actively involved with them. I am a facilitator and state trainer for the NAMI Connection groups (peer run support group) here in Rhode Island, and I also help teach high school and college students about mental illness through NAMI RI's Inside Mental Illness program.

So with all that being said...I hope you read on to my daily activities and thoughts and such.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Guided Imagery – Seasons

For years I have enjoyed writing guided imageries and recently I played around with one of my previous writings and well I decided that I would share it here.  It is not as good as when it is read to you, but if you make sure that you have a quiet space while reading, you might have an enjoyable trip.  Let me know what you think. So here goes…

 You feel the wind as it circles around you while walking through a forest in the mid-afternoon.

You can see the vivid colors of yellow, gold, orange and red moving in the trees above you.

Beneath your feet you can hear the crunching of the fallen leaves.

With each step you take you can hear the faint but noticeable crunching.

As you look above at the large tree above you, you can see one bright maroon leaf has left its host.

Your eyes follow this leaf as it circles up and down as the wind carries it.

It finally lands on the ground next to a dull yellow dandelion, which grows between the cracks of large broken rock.

You reach for the dandelion and pick it, noticing the white liquid that quickly forms at the breakage point in the stem.

Though you know the dandelion has no scent, you bring it up to your nose and can feel its petals tickle your nose as you inhale deeply.

Bringing the flower to your cheek, your eyes close as you feel the valor blanket touch your face.

Your body begins to warm as this valor feeling begins to envelop your body, and you realize that this flower has become a blanket wrapped tightly around you, nice and warm and comforting.

Looking toward your right you see a small cottage with leaves all around the yard.
You walk closer to this cottage, hearing the faint crunches of the leaves and little cracks of the small twigs beneath your feet.

Without hesitation you reach for the round cool doorknob of this welcoming cottage.
As you turn the doorknob you can feel the click of the lock opening.

You can feel the warmth of the fire in the fireplace before you, as you open the door.
The smell of burning pine fills your nose

Your exposed face feels the instant dryness of the fire and brings warmth down your spine and up your scalp.

Light popping sounds are heard from the fire and they travel through your ears as if playing to a melody.

On the small table to your left you see a mug steaming.

You reach for the mug with your right hand and bring it toward your face.

You are greeted with white billowy whipped cream.

The aroma of cocoa surrounds your nose.

Your head falls slightly to the cup and you lightly blow and take a sip.

You find that it is hot, but a perfect hot.

You let the cocoa rest in your mouth allowing all your taste buds to taste the rich sweet chocolate.

You take a swallow

Letting the warmness of the chocolate travel down slowly, keeping your warm, even down to your toes.

You bring your tongue to clean your whipped cream lips

A slight tap at the window brings your attention to it.

As if by magic, fall has turned into winter.

Walking closer to the window with the mug between your hands, you can see light puffy snow has taken over the forest.

The trees that held such beautiful leaves just moments earlier, now housed small mound of puffy snow on its branches.

In one branch you notice a small bird with a black cap and bib with white sides to the face. 

The smell of apples and cinnamon fills your nostrils

You look down at your cup instinctively

The mug in your hand has changed to a clear tall tea cup

There you see a cinnamon stick sticking out of the steaming yellow brownish liquid that you know to be apple cider.

The smell gets stronger as you bring the tea cup closer to your mouth.

The tastes of apple, cloves, cinnamon and brown sugar hits your tongue and the juices of your own saliva and cider join together, creating a blast in your mouth.

You find yourself stirring the cinnamon stick and taking a sip again and again, slowly and methodically as you watch the bird singing its tune of its various outbursts of notes.

With the last sip you close your eyes and bend your head back to capture the last drop.
As your eyes slowly open you can see that the large window before you has created a new picture of vivid greens and bold colors of spring.

You drop the blanket at your feet and head for the door.

Rain drops could still be seen on the leaves, grass and flower buds back outside.

You see that the bird has found a small puddle and is vigorously cleaning himself under his wings.

As you come closer to a tree you are drawn to one leaf with a larger rain drop hanging on and you see your own reflection in the water.

You watch as this drop slowly descends from the leaf and watch as it drops to your feet in a puddle and disappears.

Your eyes become fixed on the puddle below.

Again you can see your reflection

You bend down slowly.

You place your forefinger in the center of the puddle and slowly move your finger in a side to side movement.

You watch as the ripples grow larger and larger.

The feeling of the sun has grown warmer against the top of your head.

You begin to feel the warmness on your exposed skin.

Looking up you see the flowers have grown and opened with the bright sun.

Our eyes are drawn to a bush of blue dots in the distance

You walk toward it and realize that the bush is full of ripe blueberries.

You reach for one and pop it in your mouth and bite down

Letting it pop in your mouth

You begin eating more until you see that there is just too many for you to eat them all

A nice breeze hits your cheek and you close your eyes as you bring your face to it.

Opening your eyes now you see that you are where you began, with the dandelion, now brightened against your cheek.

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