Welcome to My Bumpy Ride.......

Before you all read on, I guess it is best to introduce myself to you and let you know a bit about myself. I am Susan, and first and foremost, I am a mother to a wonderful young man. Though he is grown, he will always be that three year old little boy, that asked all those questions and expected answers to them all. Though I will tell you much about myself in this blog there is no one or nothing that is as important to me as him, even if I don't discuss him much, because he kina likes to remain private.

For years I was actively trying to find myself, but that was a big waste of time, since by doing so I was not living. All my life I have always known that I was "different", but was unable to know why that was. I first thought that perhaps it was because I was adopted, but that was not the case. Turns out, I am bipolar and pretty much have been all my life. This was explained to me about nine years ago when I had a major melt down. I tend to be more on the depressive side, but have on occasion been quite manic. My last episode was early thru mid 2008, with full blown depression. For five months, I bearly left my house, let alone my bed. Why am I telling you this? I just want it out in the open and let you understand that I discuss my illness from time to time.

Present day, I am currently a full time student, studying social work. At the end of 2011 I was approached by a mentor of mine, who mentioned a new program that was going to launch here in Rhode Island. This new program called the Peer Wellness Coaching, was something that I had always wished would become a reality and to add even more excitement was the fact that this mentor was inviting me to train for a position as one of the Peer Wellness Coaches.

So currently (spring 2012) I am part of the three phases of training and should be employed by the fall of 2012. What is even more excellent about this program is that they are aware of my education goals and are willing to work with me on maintaining those goals.

Also you might hear me mention NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), because I am actively involved with them. I am a facilitator and state trainer for the NAMI Connection groups (peer run support group) here in Rhode Island, and I also help teach high school and college students about mental illness through NAMI RI's Inside Mental Illness program.

So with all that being said...I hope you read on to my daily activities and thoughts and such.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Entry for November 1, 2010 Early Morning Classes

Three times a week this semester I have to be in class by eight in the morning.  Since I take a city bus to school, I have to leave by six.  I like to wake up at least two hours before I go in.  No, it does not take me that long to get ready, it is just that I want to be fully wake when I get there so I mostly spend my hour and a half playing online, eating breakfast, getting my stuff together and what not.  Usually this is not a bad thing and it works well for me, but half way through my first class, I started to feel really tired.  I made it through my classes alright and figured that I would get a nap in when I got home, but it doesn’t look like I am going to since I am not tired any more.  Oh I wish my body would make up its mind! 

My friend Ami is in surgery right now.  That could be the reason for the not being able to take a nap.  This is her first ever surgery and she was quite nervous about it.  I am pretty sure she will be just fine.  I should hear something around six or so as to how the surgery went.  This is a big deal for her in many ways that I would like to share but I will wait until she is feeling better to ask her if I can share with you all what kind of surgery she had. 

I will be co - facilitating two NAMI Connection groups this week and I am not sure that it was actually a good idea to accept the request for the second one.  The first one I run each week and it seems to be doing well.  We are having room issues at the moment but I think we might have figured them out.

One week from tomorrow I will be picking out my classes for the spring semester.  I am hoping I get the ones that I want and they don’t fill up on me or get cancelled out.  I made it so I can stay here in the city two days a week and two days in Warwick.  Another added plus is having Fridays off.  Oh that is going to be a great thing to have.  Maybe I can go to Jersey to see my son and my father. 

There is also my mother to consider in Florida.  She starts chemo for lung cancer on Friday.  Those of you, who know me in real life, know that mom has been battling this for just over a year now.  For those of you who don’t know I will give the quick rundown.  Last year they found a mass in mom’s right lung and proceeded to remove 40% of her right lung.  I was in Florida for three weeks while she had the surgery and recover time.  There were no cancer cells in her lymph nodes so she didn’t have to do chemo.  She recouped well and thought she was in the clear.  Well the day after the fall add/drop period at school, she was told by her doctor that she had another mass on her left and the surgeon didn’t want to hesitate to take out a third of that one.  Mom didn’t want me to disrupt school (basically she told me she would be upset if I upset my studies) so she went to a rehabilitation center after her last surgery.  During surgery they tested her lymph nodes like last time, only now they found cancer cells, so she has to do chemo for twelve weeks.  I am concerned because her sister lost her battle with the same cancer only three and a half years ago.  So mom is a big concern here and dad is have some serious memory problems, but dad has my brother there with him so I am not as overly worried as I am with mom.

Wow, sorry you all.  Didn’t think that this was going to be a long one, but it looks like it is.  Ok so for the picture today.  I am posting a picture of a doll my mom told me that I came to live with them with.  I don’t actually remember the doll but have heard mom mention it over the years, and how she had to find a way to get rid of it quick, because apparently it had this God awful laugh, that drove everyone in the house crazy.  So here it is Baby Laughs A Lot...

Scary looking, wouldn't you say!  TTFN

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