Welcome to My Bumpy Ride.......

Before you all read on, I guess it is best to introduce myself to you and let you know a bit about myself. I am Susan, and first and foremost, I am a mother to a wonderful young man. Though he is grown, he will always be that three year old little boy, that asked all those questions and expected answers to them all. Though I will tell you much about myself in this blog there is no one or nothing that is as important to me as him, even if I don't discuss him much, because he kina likes to remain private.

For years I was actively trying to find myself, but that was a big waste of time, since by doing so I was not living. All my life I have always known that I was "different", but was unable to know why that was. I first thought that perhaps it was because I was adopted, but that was not the case. Turns out, I am bipolar and pretty much have been all my life. This was explained to me about nine years ago when I had a major melt down. I tend to be more on the depressive side, but have on occasion been quite manic. My last episode was early thru mid 2008, with full blown depression. For five months, I bearly left my house, let alone my bed. Why am I telling you this? I just want it out in the open and let you understand that I discuss my illness from time to time.

Present day, I am currently a full time student, studying social work. At the end of 2011 I was approached by a mentor of mine, who mentioned a new program that was going to launch here in Rhode Island. This new program called the Peer Wellness Coaching, was something that I had always wished would become a reality and to add even more excitement was the fact that this mentor was inviting me to train for a position as one of the Peer Wellness Coaches.

So currently (spring 2012) I am part of the three phases of training and should be employed by the fall of 2012. What is even more excellent about this program is that they are aware of my education goals and are willing to work with me on maintaining those goals.

Also you might hear me mention NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), because I am actively involved with them. I am a facilitator and state trainer for the NAMI Connection groups (peer run support group) here in Rhode Island, and I also help teach high school and college students about mental illness through NAMI RI's Inside Mental Illness program.

So with all that being said...I hope you read on to my daily activities and thoughts and such.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Entry for November 9, 2010 Updates

Entry for November 9, 2010
Had to make a hard decision pertaining to Denny.  What I came up with was telling him that if he is engaged in any kind of drinking I am not going to be part of it.  Told him that should he decide to drink, while with me, I will get up and leave.  It is what I have to do. In order to help him get better, I have to stop being a part of his addiction.  The first step I made was moving out, and that did bring on a depression for him but it didn’t have the outcome that I was hoping for.
Sunday I sat down with him and told him how it was going to be from now on.  I was actually surprised first, that he didn’t get up and walk away.  That is his usual move whenever I try to talk to him about his drinking.  The second biggest breakthrough came when he totally admitted that he knows he has a problem and got mega teary eyed.  Even with these breakthroughs I don’t expect him to quit drinking just like that.
The good thing about this whole thing is that he is currently seeing a therapist for his depressive burst about a month ago.  What makes this even really good is that this therapist also specializes in addiction recovery.  That was a blessed coincidence and I am hoping Denny utilizes this man’s skills.  I asked Denny if he brought up to the therapist anything about his drinking habits.  Denny said that he had but very briefly and Denny feels as though the therapist is waiting for him to bring it up again.  I like this therapists approach. 
I let Denny know that if he needed my help in any way with his recovery I am so right there to help him.  I even gave him a few examples of how I could help and I hope he knows I mean it. 
School news.  Registration began on Monday around midnight and I went in the website and was able to get the classes I wanted.  What this means is, I only have to go to the main campus twice a week and two days here in the city.  I will also have every Friday off.  I think I am more excited about the Fridays off more than anything.  I am basically dragging myself to the bus stop each Friday and have actually missed a few.  So this is a great thing.
I have an exam on Friday for Psychology and I am hoping to keep my grade at an A.  Weird thing is…I can’t seem to get into the studying.  This is not good.  Maybe it is the whole in the middle of the semester thing.  Whatever it is, I have to get out of it.  Other than that, all is good with school.

Since I was talking about school, I decided to share a picture of a toy/calculator that I had as a kid.  I loved math, and when I got this Little Professor I was so excited.  I took with me everywhere.  I can remember leaving it in the woods and from then, I don’t remember it anymore.  I think I most have broke it or something.  Maybe it rained or something, but I liked it, a lot.

1 comment:

  1. You handled Denny very well from what you've stated. When my two best buds tried to have the talk about my drinking I totally blew up at them. He sounds very mature (but also immature for the drinking problem) But at least he is in therapy.

    So happy to hear you have such a great class schedule! It can make such a difference having a manageable routine.