Two exams to go and I am done!!! Can’t believe that I have made it. So on Wednesday and Thursday I have exams and then that is it. I was going to stay home all day today but decided that I would return the three books that I am all done with today. Who knows, maybe I will stop at the mall. I am desperate need of some new jeans and since I am getting some money back for the books, I might just have enough to get new ones. Well at least I am functioning enough to be able to do this stuff. Honestly though, I am by the means that I didn’t want to take, but at least I am doing stuff.
Denny is doing quite well in his treatment. His doctor wants to put him on some sort of drug that will give him some kind of bad reaction to alcohol. The doctor told him though that he really has to be committed to be able to take the drug. I am wondering though if he is serious enough to really go through with taking something that will make him extremely sick if he fails.
I am worried about everyone I know. It seems like everyone is going through something. Funny thing is, I have run into this sort of thing before with everyone I know, except for Denny and now here I am with all the people I love and even Denny going through something. I am sick myself and can’t be. I can’t even take the time to deal with my shit and here everyone is in crisis mode. So where does that leave me, well I guess I can write here, like I have been doing.
Honestly I am kina done with thinking about all the crap that is going on. Sometimes I think about the nothingness that one of my friends had been talking about once we are done here on earth and it seems quite welcoming. I imagine what it would be like not to feel anything, to have complete peace. Then of course that is when I also thinking about how there could really be a heaven and well that even seems better. I imagine floating up on a cloud and having no flashbacks or mental pain and well that is usually when I try and fight with those thoughts and say that I really need to be here for all those people who are usually there for me. Now I am just thinking here, I am not in a planning mode, just thinking is all.
Maybe that is why I am forcing myself to get up and head out of the apartment today. I will take a long bus ride and return my books and see about getting some jeans and then take care of some banking for Denny and come home and find something for me to do for the next day. I just hope that I can keep my mind on those that need me, rather than anything else my mind will think.
Well gotta catch a bus so let me go look for a picture for today…..
Alright this is a shot I took from the Double Tree hotel in Cambridge, MA a couple of years ago. I was actually quite surprised at how well it turned out. I really love the pink in the sky, hence the reason I took it in the first place.